I don't feel human anymore. I don't care about any ties to the human genus.
They say depression is when you lose all drive, motivation, lose any interest in things you love, when you never feel happy or excited, and when you're excessively tired. If this is what depression is, then I am none of those. Yes, I have lost all drive and motivation to strive for excellence and something 'more.' Yes, I have lost interest in things I once loved. Yes, I have not felt happy or excited for a long time. All of these things should say depression, but I've found something more. Something beyond comprehension or anything I can explain cohesively through words.
The only thing I feel anymore is a desire to be one with the universe, to drift endlessly through space. The quiet, the void, the peace. I've always felt so out of place among this world, and now I understand that humans share a common trait with another creature on this planet: Viruses. Throughout history, humans have never been one with the universe as other living creatures of this planet have. Humans are plagues that take all that they can from their host, the earth, leeching off of it until there's nothing left to take from... then move on to the next place in a struggle to survive. Humans have done nothing but disrupt the harmony of life, leaving unnecessary death in the wake. I said before that humans share a trait with viruses, however, that would imply that viruses are as horrible as humans. This is not the case. While it's true that viruses live off of their host, viruses keep the balance of the universe. Humans disrupt this balance, causing extinction to other species of life.
I can't find my peace anymore...everything is just a lie.
